Team Work Makes the Dream Work
Marriage is about team work. It’s about giving and taking, cooperating, and adjusting. One of the biggest things Tristan and I have had to overcome in our marriage is how independent we both are. We are both passionate dreamers and doers, and we are both very good at working alone and creating our own schedules. However, after getting married, we quickly learned that if we don’t work together, we really don’t get anything done. In fact, trying to operate independently from one another, even in everyday tasks, only leads to frustration and confusion. As Tristan has started saying recently, “Marriage is like a house of cards; we both have to delicately lean on each other and be so intentionally aligned, otherwise when we are just a bit off, we both end up falling down.”
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The most important thing for a productive marriage is the way you approach one another. Even if you have great communication skills and are an excellent conflict resolver, those skills won’t really get you that far in marriage if you approach each other on your own terms. However, when you are work as a team and both give 100%, you will find increase rather than compromise.
It’s taken lots of practice and intentionality for Tristan and I to learn team work in all aspects of our marriage (and it’s something we’re still working on!). But along the way, we’ve come up with some “Team Rules” that have been immensely helpful for us!
Here are our top 3 “Team Rules” for our Marriage:
1. Go to bed and wakeup together
It can be hard to coordinate sleep schedules, and sometimes takes a while to find a schedule that will work for both of you. Tristan’s an early bird and I’m a total night owl, but we try our hardest to go to bed and wakeup together everyday. Being intentional to start and end our days together has made us both feel so much more connected and in sync with each other.
2. Work Together
Tristan and I work together on this blog, and it has honestly been such a good thing for our marriage. We’ve had to learn how to collaborate, work efficiently, and figure out the best decisions for our business. If you can, I would so recommend working with your spouse in some way, even if it’s just a side job together (such as photography- we’ve also done this and it’s been super fun!). Or just do projects together around the house! It’s seriously a great marriage strengthener y’all.
3. Hold hands when you have a disagreement
Okay, this last one can be SO hard and takes a lot of swallowing pride on both sides. BUT it is seriously so helpful! Whenever an issue or disagreement comes up, Tristan and I make sure that we hold hands while we discuss it. It is easy to keep your hands to yourself and sit a bit farther apart when conflict arises, but for us holding hands is a physical representation that we are a team in all things. It helps keep us grounded, so that we remember to be for one another rather than pointing blame at each other. And it’s pretty much impossible to get mad while holding hands haha!